my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
