What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize