he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
