Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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