I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
