so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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