plz talk dirty to me
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
