It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
