with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just want nice things and good sex
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
