I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
