Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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