so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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