i think my tv is drunk
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
