butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
