Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
