How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
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She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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