I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
