Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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