Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
