you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
