i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
smell my finger.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
