I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
