I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
