filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
