it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
