Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
