Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
