ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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