So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i dont even know how to be here
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
