Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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