Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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