I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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