I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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