Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
