nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize