so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
are you so shy because you have an std?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize