Acid is not a monday night drug
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
