If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize