you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
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Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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