what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
