Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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