I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Randomize
