I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
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Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
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P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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