she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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