seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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