Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We left the knife in your bed.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
