U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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