So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You ruined the universe
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
