Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
