on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize