my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
