There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
