Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
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Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
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That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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