I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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