you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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