You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
