It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
