this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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