His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
