Duck Duck Cougar?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My feet surprised me
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