I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
