i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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