But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Success! We fucked roommates!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
