I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I feel great
I just peed on a car
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
