one might say we're banned from that church
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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