He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i love accidental penises.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
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