hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
